A Foreword from Roy Morbis
Welcome to Ghost Management. I’m Roy Morbis, and from our headquarters in Dagenham, we’re putting the spirit back into the working world.
For too long, ghosts have been expected to haunt premises without pay, rattle chains without proper equipment, and work all night simply because they’re already dead. Frankly, it’s an outrage. Being deceased should never mean your rights have expired.
That’s why Ghost Management does two jobs. We hire out professional ghosts, and we act as a union for ghost rights.
Perhaps you need a Victorian lady for your staircase, a headless gentleman for a special occasion, or someone to make unsettling noises in the spare bedroom. We’ll find the right spirit for the job. All our ghosts are interviewed, references are checked, and previous hauntings are taken into account.
On the union side, we stand up for fair contracts, reasonable haunting hours and a ghost’s right to finish a shift without being chased around by someone waving burning sage. Any exorcism must go through the proper grievance procedure.
We’re proud to be based in Dagenham. There’s a strong tradition here of working people standing together, and I see no reason why that should stop at the cemetery gates.
Our ghosts bring experience, character and, occasionally, their own furniture. In return, we ask that clients treat them with respect and refrain from describing every unexplained draught as “probably just the windows”.
Whether you’re booking a haunting or joining the union, you’re welcome here.
Just knock. The doorbell’s been possessed since February.
Roy Morbis
Ghost Management, Dagenham
“An honest night’s haunting for an honest night’s pay.”
Ghosts For Hire
Ghost Management: Professional Haunting Services
Looking for a ghost who’ll turn up, do the job and leave a lasting impression? Ghost Management supplies experienced spirits from our base in Dagenham, with haunting packages for homes, businesses and special occasions.
Domestic Haunting
Give your home some character with mysterious footsteps, flickering lights and a shadowy figure on the landing. Choose from occasional appearances or a regular haunting. Ideal for anyone who feels their spare bedroom lacks atmosphere.
Commercial Haunting
From pubs and hotels to offices and shops, our ghosts help your premises stand out. Services include cellar lurking, corridor drifting and looking mournfully through windows. Please tell us in advance if your building has revolving doors; we’ve had difficulties.
Weddings, Parties and Special Occasions
Make your event one guests will talk about for years. Hire a ghostly greeter, a spectral guest or a dramatic midnight apparition. Our wedding package includes discreet haunting during the speeches. Possession of the best man is charged separately.
Traditional and Bespoke Hauntings
Prefer a classic headless nobleman? A Victorian governess? Someone who moves your keys six inches to the left every morning? Tell us what you have in mind, and we’ll match you with a suitable ghost. Chains, period clothing and unfinished business are available by arrangement.
Ghost Rights and Union Membership
We also represent ghosts in workplace disputes, contract negotiations and cases of unfair banishment. Members receive support with unpaid haunting fees, unreasonable night shifts and clients who bring in an exorcist without giving notice.
Every booking includes an agreed haunting brief, clear working hours and fair treatment for your assigned spirit. Screaming is welcome. Abuse is not.
Contact Ghost Management for a quote. Please include your location, preferred haunting style and whether there’s already someone living in the walls.